The waiting game.

This is... boring. I knew there would be a lot of waiting, but I had no idea how boring this would be. I've spent a vast majority of my time here either sitting in a car filling out application after application, or going from place to place, filling out application after application.

Yes, I did get an offer from Walmart, which I will probably take for now, just to get some cash coming in. That's not the point. I can make 9 bucks an hour back in Illinois, and have the comfort of home at the same time.

I came up here to find good work so I can work my ass off and climb out of debt, so I can live life on m own terms for a change. All I've gotten in the mean time is a pile of rejection. This was my biggest fear before I came up here. I'm trying to maintain a positive attitude, but lord knows its not easy.

Pete starts on the job tomorrow. His orientation finishes today and he is in the field tomorrow. Things seem to be working out for him, no matter how chaotic they have been. I guess as much is to be expected in an environment like this, where recruiters are probably running around like headless chickens.

Not having anything to do besides apply and apply and apply gives me time to think and all I can think about is how much I can't afford to not get something up here. I have a lot of time to stare failure in the face, because no matter how hard I try, the ghost of failure sits right in front of you waiting for you to just give up and accept him. All it takes is one "yes" to send him packing. I just want him to go away.

I've gotten used to sleeping in the Dakota. The mattress makes it really easy. Last nite was actually pretty nice, I actually had the windows cracked. Once Pete gets settled into his housing I might propose we take the mattress out and really clean out the Dakota. I've done my best to keep it neat and orderly, but some things need to be straightened out and tidied up. It really helps manage the small space and keep it pleasant to keep it clean and orderly. If I had one big piece of advice to anyone planning to live out of their car coming up here it would be that. Have a system of storage, a place for everything, and maintain it. Do not waiver from it. Then, when you need someting, you know exactly where it is, and you are not stressing over it.

Today might be the last day in Medora. I have no idea what happens from here. All I know is I need income, and I need it soon. If Walmart is all I have by the time Pete goes back to IL, I'm not coming back to ND. Like I said, I'd rather make 9 bucks an hour at home, than living in a car in a state 1000 miles from anyone I know. Until then I sit here and wait for the phone to ring... Oh how I want the phone to ring...