Nature is balance...

Have you ever noticed how the world tends to balance itself out?  It seems like whatever you do in life to tip the scales, something happens on the other side to balance itself out.

It seems like knowing this would offer a great chance to game the system.  If you constantly put nothing but positive into life, then, by nature's balance, you should get nothing but positive out of it.  Seems like a solid plan.  Almost fool proof, if you believe in such a concept.

But its not that easy.

Our egos take over.  We get selfish. We start to wonder, "Why do bad things happen to me," without considering what sort of negativity we may have wrought.  We feel doubt, self pity, and we take it out on the world.  The emotional mind can be very persuasive.  Trust me, I know.

Its very easy to lose sight of what is important in life, because you are having a bad streak (which, ironically, can be a self-fulfilling loop in itself).  Your mind can convince you that the world just doesn't want you to succeed.  You might miss out on opportunities that you are certain you deserve, you might lose something you cherish for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Its times like these when people tell you, "Just stay positive."  But its hard.  Its difficult to see through the cloud of negativity you are in.  Trust me, I know.

I was struggling with this for a while.  I seemed to have everything going for me.  I had a decent job that I liked and was progressing at.  I was getting healthy and losing a ton of weight.  I was, dare I say it, happy.  I don't mean, content with life.  I mean, I was genuinely happy with where I was in life.  I was riding the karma train and profiting from it.

Then something took that away.  It doesn't matter what, or why.  The important thing is the way I reacted.  I let one negative thing derail my karma train.  I got lost in a cloud of negativity and let it consume me, almost willingly.  In blur I lost my job, my health, and my happiness.  I fell into a pit of self loathing, and I let a world of negativity envelop me.  I became convinced that I was destined for bad things to happen, and just accepted failure as my path in life.

I was wrong.

I want you to read that again, so you might learn from my mistake.

I was WRONG.

I'm not going to preach to you, like some pompous self-help guru.  The fact of the matter is, if you could help yourself, you wouldn't be in a world of hurt to begin with.

I will say this, though:  As cheesy as it sounds, never let yourself lose sight of positivity.

I know.  It sounds cliché.  But its true.  Positivity breeds positivity.

I had myself convinced that coming back to North Dakota for a 2nd trip was a mistake.  I was convinced that the first trip was a mistake.  I kept telling myself that coming up here is just going to lead to failure after failure and when all is said and done I'm going to end up moving back with my parents and being a worthless drain on them.

But then something clicked.

I don't know if it was Pete being persistently positive in my face when I was nothing but depressing, or if my brain finally broke, but something clicked.  I decided that, no matter what, it doesn't matter if I get a job up here or not.  I came up with a backup plan, and I dove head first into coming back.

As soon as I did that, I started getting phone calls.  I got a call from an old college buddy about an IT job that I ultimately wasn't quite qualified for, but still considered me.  That was a huge confidence boost.  I might not have gotten that job, but it went a long way to helping me pull my head out of the smog (Thank you Tim.).

Then, Saturday I got a call from one of my top choices for work up here.  The phone interview went well, and long story short, I did a drug test today.  Now I just wait to hear back from them.

The point this long post is trying to make, is to always remember karma.  Always mind the balance that life tries to achieve.  I'm not saying you need to donate all your money to charity or volunteer for the peace corps, but holding the door open for someone, asking someone how his day is, or just smiling back at someone can create a positive imbalance in your favor.

I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't lived it.  Trust me.  I know.