The First Real Break

I'm sitting here in my parent's garage, on my first break away from North Dakota since I got a job.  I'm telling you, I really needed it.  I need a physical and mental reset.  My body hurts, my mind is sore, and I've got the shortest fuse I've ever had.  I've never dealt with such disorganization and childish "adults" in my life, but the pay is nice, so I'll stick around for awhile.

This break is kind of surreal for me.  Its my first real victory lap in a long time. finally things are going my way.  But it kind of feels bittersweet, because everything is changing drastically.  My parents sold the house and are moving to Florida in 3 days.   My last real safety net here is leaving.  I'll always have safety nets, but geographically, now, the only thing letting me stay in Illinois is myself.  Its sad, at 28 years old, but this is the first time I've had to balance my livelihood on my own.  I'm kinda scared.

North Dakota sucks.  I'm just going to flat out say it.  And I'm glad it sucks, because there will be no emotion keeping me there when I decide to finally leave, however long that takes.  I'm tired of the complete chaos at work, the constant threats, and the stress of not knowing whats going to happen day in and day out.  I'm tired of being tired, my legs hurting, and my feet being absolutely on fire.  In understand that there is a such thing as hard work, and whatnot, but 51 days with no break wears on one.

But, I did this to myself.  I got into debt foolishly and I'm working my way out of it.  I did meet my goal for the first trip, and paid off my credit cards.  Now I need to start saving so I can pay off  loans.  It looks like a big mountain to climb, but when I look back only 8 weeks, I have already come a long way.

If all goes well, I'm only 4 weeks of work away from getting medical insurance.  As soon as that card is in my hand, I'm making appointments and I'm getting my sleep fixed.  I need that more than anything.  That is my number one goal right now.  Get insurance and save money.  That's it.

Once I can focus on things better and sleep better, I can move up from where I am.  Once I get out of debt, I won't be held down in my life decisions by the 10 ton elephant I have to lug around.  I'm on my way, I just need to keep the momentum up.